I have been reminded lately how tricky relationships with our Christian brothers and sisters can be. We want to be close to each other, but inevitably something happens and the relationships sour, or worse, they precipitate a crisis of faith in one or more of the parties involved. Somehow, we expect each other always to act in Christ-like ways, never making a mistake, never having a weak moment, never giving in to temptation to do evil.



I have been a party to such difficulties, sometimes the one at fault, sometimes the one wronged. Always in such times I find myself struggling with my expectations.


“She should know better than to treat me this way!”


“He should understand that I am only human!”


“If they were real Christians, this never would have happened!”


I’ve often wondered what level of love Jesus had to have in order to psychologically deal with all of the injustices at the hands of His own people He endured. What kind of love does it take to be able to restrain oneself when you are the God of the universe constrained in a human body?


So for us, how do we practically handle such situations with grace and Godliness? Is it just a matter of revamping our expectations so that we always expect each other to act sinfully and brace ourselves for the inevitable? Do we write off everyone, except ourselves, of course, as a hypocrite and wait patiently for God to bring justice and punishment? Is it okay for us to set and enforce boundaries in our relationships, especially within our church family? If so, how do we do this in a loving way? What does a healthy relationship between Christians look like?


Cannot wait for your insights!

No one knows better than I do how hard life can be.  As most of you know, in the last couple of years my family and I have been hit with a trial that has frequent short term challenges as well as chronic, long term stresses.  Finding ways to relax, to be entertained, to temporarily escape the quiet agony my family and I face every day is a challenge unto itself.  I understand the attraction of drugs or alcohol, something to numb the pain for just a little while.  I frequently fight the temptation to eat too much or spend too much, something to give a happy, satisfied feeling to my often weary heart.  Self-pity has a special attraction because it gives a sense of importance to my sometimes depleted self-esteem. 

Thinking about how I am weathering these personal challenges has me looking around at my Christian family and beyond, at how we humans choose to deal with the stresses of the occasional major life crisis as well as the everyday kind of stresses that are such a large part of modern life.  Overwhelmingly, we humans choose ordinary and worldly approaches to find relief from the heartaches of life.  Our collective response to stress in this life is to read the self-help book, artificially numb our pain, or escape through every mode of recreation we can imagine.  Even Christians find themselves caught in this mindset.  Rather than casting our cares on the One who cares for us and immersing ourselves in His way and His family, we look for the answers in self-indulgences.  In doing so, we create idols in our lives that we do not recognize as such.  We call them recreation, blowing off steam, passion for life, hobbies, self-improvement, even friendship.  In and of themselves, these activities are not idols, but we turn them into idols by allowing them to consume portions of our lives that become off-limits to the Father.  Even self-pity becomes an idol when we let it overwhelm our thoughts and crowd out acknowledging the blessings God gives us. 

So, specifically, what are some of the idols we create to make this life more bearable, more enjoyable, more fun?  How can we know that we have turned something into an idol in our lives?  Once we recognize an idol in our lives, how do we overcome it and put it back into its proper place?

I look forward to reading your thoughts and the Scriptures you point us to!

My niece, Rebekah Osteen, recently updated her blog and I have posted her entry from yesterday below.  She is a wise young woman and a thoughtful writer and I thought you all might enjoy reading this entry.  After you read it, why don't we post scriptures which help support the statements she makes about friendships/relationships.
Enjoy!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thoughts on friendship, by Rebekah Osteen


Over the course of the past couple of days, I've had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with several good friends of mine via phone, Skype, and Facebook. Here are a few thoughts I've been reflecting on that I'd like to pass along to you...

1) Friendships take time.
In a society where we want everything now, we've begun to want to create long-lasting friendships in shorter and shorter amounts of time. In reality, this simply does not happen. You'll find out very quickly who your true friends are by looking at the people in your life who have stuck around the longest.



2) Friendships take hard work.
Long-lasting friendships require some good ol' "elbow grease." They not only take time, but they also take hard work. Just like everything else in our lives that we can improve upon, friendships only grow and develop if we actually take time to work on them. Some days are easier than others, but regardless, life-long friendships take hard work.



3) Friendships require intentionality.
This one is a biggie. If we want to cultivate long-lasting, meaningful friendships, we have to do our part in upholding the relationship. As time goes by, it's more likely for our closest friends to be the furthest ones (geographically) away from us. In order for us to really keep these friendships healthy and vibrant, we've got to be intentional with how we keep in touch. As our schedules become busier and busier, we must be able to set aside and plan out time for catching up and reconnecting with friends. Without intentionality, months can go by without us even realizing it's been that long since we've talked to our best friends. Simply put, if we want relationships with a deep purpose, we must be intentional with our friendships.



4) Friendships require honesty.
I hate conflict. I'd rather run and hide from it than turn around and face it. I'd also rather lie my way out of a situation and come out "unscathed" than to be honest and experience conflict, tension, and overall frustration within a friendship. Although I hate relational conflict, I really do try to view it as a sign of life and a sign of growth. I'm thankful for the friends who have been there to help me get through difficult seasons of life, but I'm really thankful for the friends who have been the most honest. Whether it was about something stupid I said or about a legitimate character flaw, I have a deep appreciation and thankfulness for the friends who've been honest with me. Although it's wonderful to receive affirmation, we must practice the discipline of taking loving criticism. Bottom line, if we want life-long friendships, we need honesty.



5) Friendships feed off of trust.
The only way for us to cultivate honesty within our friendships is if there is trust...mutual trust. Trust is the foundation to any relationship whether it be with one of your best friends or with your co-worker. Whenever you face any relational conflict, ask yourself if it's really a matter of trust. More times than not, it probably is. Trust is both one of the hardest things to gain and one of the hardest things to give away. Trust makes you extremely vulnerable. Trust proves that you're needy and that you can't do it all by yourself. Just when you think you can really trust someone, there's always another level of trust that can potentially be reached.
At the end of the day, I can truly say that I have some of the best friends in the entire world. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. As the saying goes, "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same." Not only do I have some of the best friends you could ever ask for, but my goal is to be the very best friend that I can possibly be.

In class yesterday I talked about a "lifestyle of repentance".  I referenced 1 John 1:5-10 which says,

"5 This is the message he has given us to announce to you: God is light and there is no darkness in him at all. 6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. We are not living in the truth. 7 But if we are living in the light of God's presence, just as Christ is, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from every sin.  8 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts." New Living Translation

With this verse in mind, what does "lifestyle of repentance" mean to you?  Have you ever known anyone who acted like someone verse 8 describes?  How can we help someone in that situation move into confession that is genuine?  How do we keep ourselves from becoming like the person described in verse 8?

I look forward to your comments!! 

FYI, I am not sure the email notifications are working properly.  The sign up seems to work fine, but getting the actual email is another story.  Let me know if you have problems.

Hello Ladies!  Sorry to have been absent so long.  I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!  I added the ability to subscribe to email notifications of new posts for our blog and well as the ability to subscribe to the content being added to one of several home pages you may use.  I am hoping this will help us all stay more connected to the blog and use it to its potential to bless us all.  Let me know how you like the new functionality.
I will post a new prompt soon and I look forward to reading your comments!

A prompt for your thoughts and meditations...


Agree or Disagree, Why or Why not:

Ultimately, every act of sin is an act of faithlessness.


I borrowed this from someone's Facebook status, if I remember correctly, and found it intriguing.  What examples from Scripture can you think of that show your point of view on this?


Thank you, ladies, for your participation!

This coming week we are going to be talking about how God is good.  Psalm 34:8 says, "O taste and see that the Lord is good;  How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

Our discussion:  How do we take refuge in the Lord?  What do we find when we get there?  Is it a place we should stay?

Really looking forward to your thoughts, questions and insights!

Sometimes people who are not Christians look at those of us who are and think that the Christian life would require them to give up too much and be too disciplined for their tastes. Certainly, most of us who walk as Christians would describe it as challenging. So, why do we do it? What is the pay-off for us? Or does the Christian life just appeal to those who seemingly like to punish themselves or who have an inborn desire to live a clean life? What does the Bible tell us about this?  What is our hope?

What do you think?

Recently I've come across some toxic exchanges between groups within our fellowship opposing each others' views in public forums (electronic media, newsletters, etc.)  These exchanges name names and spend more space defaming each other than they do addressing the teachings they disagree on.  How do we guard against treating our brothers and sisters this way?  How do we disagree with each other, as will happen from time to time, and follow Paul's instruction in 1 Thessalonians 5 to encourage one another?  Share scriptures you turn to for instruction and encouragement in this area of our Christian walk.

Ladies,

I am starting this blog to add another avenue for us to share Bible study.  I encourage all of you to share Scripture and insights and encouragement.  This is to be a safe place, with patient, respectful teaching and sharing.  I will act as an editor for the blog and everyone is welcome to post.  I hope this will be a place you can point your friends to if they are seeking to know more about our God and Savior.  From time to time, I will post a prompt, something to stimulate your thinking and Bible study.  Feel free to post your own questions, from big issues to "where can I find..." queries.  May God bless you in your efforts to grow closer to Him!